Solitary hiding place

"I am afraid what will happen after I am released.  I don't want to be a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," Ron confided.

Ron is an inmate at the Norm Maleng Regional Justice Center, in Kent, Washington where I serve as a chaplain through Prisoners for Christ Outreach Ministries. 

Over several months, he completed Bible studies, meets with several solid chaplains and appears to be progressing in daily faith.

Men may show signs of being responsive. They experience stress and take steps to change their lives.  They want to live a better life but are not certain what that will look like.

They will have to change their behaviors.  They need to have a definitive plan and support to live differently.  They aren't sure they want to do that.  

Some want to change because they think God will be proud of them.  Really, they will get out of jail quicker.  They want a "get out of jail" card.

If they are looking for this quick out, they will be sadly disappointed.  They are going to face the court.  There are consequences for what they are guilty of.  My heart is to care for them whether they are innocent or guilty and whatever the courts and lawyers determine. 

I tell them circumstances may get more complicated after they choose to follow Jesus.

One officer this last week said to me, "Over the years, I have learned you can't tell the book by its cover."

Ron wants to be sure he continues in the faith after leaving the jail.  His wife is not saved and she is not certain what is happening in Ron's life.  

His old "fellow users" are in his neighborhood. As his release date approaches, he worries about what is out there.  He knows how he acted before he came into jail. 

For some, change goes as far but no further than talking to fellow inmates. Some request prayer and talk a couple of times.  Others examine their lives and want to hear about walking in faith--we might meet 10 or more times.

Many attended church as a child.  They participated with church and would say they are Christians. They remember praying grandparents or a faithful mother. In staggering numbers, inmates do not have a solid father in their lives--he is often not part of their lives.  
I start asking simple questions... 

• Could you share your testimony with me?  
• What is your spiritual journey?  
• Have you attended church?  
• Do you have a Bible in your room...are you reading it?
• Would you like to read with me?
• How may I pray with you, right now?

                                 Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
I just listen and keep asking questions, praying along the way.  The Lord may lead me to a passage of Scripture.  They may want me to pray. When they see I genuinely listened and prayed with them, I a great ministry may be accomplished.  

I start, often with us reading together the conversion testimony of Charles Spurgeon.  Here it is...

Charles H. Spurgeon

"On a memorable sixth day of January, 1850, at 15, Charles Spurgeon rose before the sun, to pray and to read one of his bedside books. He found no rest.

"I cried to God with groaning—I say it without exaggeration—groaning that cannot be uttered! And oh, how I sought, in my poor dark way, to overcome first one sin and then another, and so to do better, in God's strength, against the enemies that assailed me, and not, thank God, altogether without success, though still the battle had been lost unless He had come who is the Overcomer of sin and the Deliverer of His people, and had put the hosts to flight."

Jesus. Jesus. JESUS! He alone, He without another, had become the solitary hiding place against the storm. 

I sometimes think I might have been in darkness and despair until now, had it not been for the goodness of God in sending a snowstorm one Sunday morning, while I was going to a certain place of worship. I turned down a side street, and came to a little Primitive Methodist Church.

In that chapel there may have been a dozen or fifteen people. I had heard of the Primitive Methodists, how they sang so loudly that they made people’s heads ache; but that did not matter to me.

I wanted to know how I might be saved.

The minister did not come that morning; he was snowed up, I suppose. At last a very thin-looking man, a shoemaker, or tailor, or something of that sort, went up into the pulpit to preach. Now it is well that preachers be instructed, but this man was really stupid. He was obliged to stick to his text, for the simple reason that he had little else to say.  

The text was—"LOOK TO ME AND BE SAVED, ALL THE ENDS OF THE EARTH." (Isaiah 45:22)

He did not even pronounce the words rightly, but that did not matter. There was, I thought, a glimmer of hope for me in that text.  The preacher began thus:

"This is a very simple text indeed. It says ‘LOOK.’ Now, looking don’t take a deal of pain. It doesn't require lifting your foot or your finger, It is just ‘look.’ Well, a man needn’t go to college to learn to look. Nobody needs a huge salary to look. You may be the biggest fool, and yet you can look. Anyone can look; even a child can look. But then the text says, ‘Look to Me.’ Ay!" he said in broad Essex, "many of you are looking to yourselves, but it’s no use looking there.

“You’ll never find any comfort in yourselves. Some say look to God the Father. No, look to Him by-and-by. Jesus Christ says, ‘Look to Me.’ Some of you say ‘We must wait for the Spirit’s workin.’ You have no business with that just now. Look to Christ. 
The text says, ‘Look to Me.’ "Then the good man followed up his text in this way:

Look to Me; I am sweatin’ great drops of blood.

Look to Me; I am hangin’ on the cross.

Look to Me, I am dead and buried.

Look to Me; I rise again.

Look to Me; I ascend to Heaven.

Look to Me; I am sitting at the Father’s right hand.

O poor sinner, look to Me!   Look to Me!"

When he had managed to spin out about ten minutes or so, he was at the end of his tether. Then, he looked at me under the gallery, and I daresay with so few present, he knew me to be a stranger. Just fixing his eyes on me, as if he knew all my heart, he said, "Young man, you look very miserable." Well, I did, but I had not been accustomed to have remarks made from the pulpit on my personal appearance before. However, it was a good blow, struck right home. He continued, "And you will always be miserable—miserable in life and miserable in death—if you don’t obey my text; but if you obey now, this moment, you will be saved." Then lifting up his hands, he shouted, as only a Primitive Methodist could do,

"Young man, turn to Jesus Christ. Look!  Look! Look! You have nothing to do but look and live!"

I saw at once the way of salvation. I know not what else he said—I did not take much notice of it—I was so possessed with that one thought . . . .

I had been waiting to do fifty things, but when I heard that word, "Look!" what a charming word it seemed to me.

Oh! There and then the cloud was gone, the darkness had rolled away, and that moment I saw the sun; and I could have risen that instant, and sung with the most enthusiastic of them, of the precious blood of Christ, and the simple faith which looks alone to Him. 

Oh, that somebody had told me this before, "Trust Christ, and you shall be saved." 

Yet it was, no doubt, all wisely ordered, and now I can say—

"E’er since by faith I saw the stream Thy flowing wounds supply, Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die. . ."

That happy day when I found the Savior, and learned to cling to His dear feet, was a day never to be forgotten by me . . . . I listened to the Word of God and that precious text led me to the cross of Christ.  

I can testify that the joy of that day was utterly indescribable. I could have leaped, I could have danced; there was no expression, however fanatical, which would have been out of keeping with the joy of that hour.

Many days of Christian experience have passed since then, but there has never been one which has had the full exhilaration, the sparkling delight which that first day had. I thought I could have sprung from the seat in which I sat, and called out with the wildest of those Methodist brethren . . .

"I am forgiven! I am forgiven! A monument of grace! A sinner saved by blood!"

My spirit saw its chains broken to pieces; I felt that I was an emancipated soul, an heir of heaven, a forgiven one, accepted in Jesus Christ, plucked out of the miry clay and out of the horrible pit, with my feet set upon a rock and my goings established. Between half-past ten o’clock, when I entered that chapel, and half-past twelve o’clock, when I was back again at home, what a change had taken place in me!

Simply by turning to Jesus I had been delivered from despair, and I was brought into such a joyous state of mind that, when they saw me at home, they said to me, "Something wonderful has happened to you," and I was eager to tell them all about it.  

Oh! There was joy in the household that day, when all heard that the eldest son had found the Savior and knew himself to be forgiven."

            My solitary hiding place against the storms

Tears start falling for some in the the first couple of paragraphs.  "Jesus. Jesus. JESUS! He alone, He without another, is my solitary hiding place against the storms in my life." 

As we read together, I am praying the Lord will use this testimony to touch this man's heart.  I want to learn how genuinely interested they are in seeking repentance and forgiveness for their sins. 

Now, what are they willing to say about where are they really at?  Where do they stand with Jesus?  Are they just looking for a way out, again?

Looking or turning to Jesus goes directly with believing and repentance.  The sinner changes his mind and turns away from his or her old life.  

Life with Jesus is all about the person. Repenting people look or turn directly to God through Jesus Christ and bring their sins to Him.

The inmate finds out they thought they were Christians but never heard of any of this before....or, they have prayed numerous times to be saved. 

Some "prayed the salvation prayer" repeatedly only to walk out of their jail and prison experience and returned to their old experiences. They may be saved and have stumbled badly and repeatedly. We need to be discussing walking in obedience and what it means to be His disciple.  

Like every inmate, I have scrapes on my knees and elbows to prove it.  My sins are different than theirs... but we are all sinners.  I am His and He is mine. I am loved by a great God.  I am forgiven based on what Jesus accomplished, once and for all.  

I don't need to keep asking Jesus to save me.  He already saved me.  The repenting one needs to obey the commands of Jesus and grow up in godliness.

The priority is always about Jesus.  Jesus calls for repentance from the heart, receive forgiveness and be saved, and be His disciple.  Following Jesus, being His disciple means obedience to the truth.  

That is where we start.  I may ask them to read John 3:1-21, 10:1-10-27-29 and John 14:1-6 and 15:1-16.  

  

Feelings lacking confidence

"I don't know if I feel confident Jesus stays with me," Darrell confided in a one-to-one conversation with me at the Maleng Regional Justice Center Jail, recently. 

"When I have been in jail before, I read the Bible and for awhile I feel really good.  I talked to people about God and the Bible. A little later even that day I don't feel so good. 

"I am not sure if God is still with me. 

"When I get released from jail, I have just gone back to my old lifestyle. I  get in trouble with people, get picked up, and I'm back in jail.  It is like all the stuff about God never happened. I go in circles."

Darrell is locked up in fear and pain.

Darrell is incarcerated but not by the King County Detention Center.  I became just so clear prayer was required to care for Darrell.  He has not known to do any different.   Other chaplains shared these things with him.  There was no definite plan he put in place to get to a safe place with people who would encourage him to make a habit and lifetime of walking with God around a street ministry, gospel mission, or a local church.

Darrell kept asking about how he should feel.  At one point, he probed, "Am I a Christian only when I am feeling really good?...Does He leave me when I don't feel anything?"

Inmates return to what they know

Transition hours right after release are critical for every inmate.  Most need hand-holding through those first hours and days.  If there are substance abuse issues, as is most common, fellow users are right there to get the released man right back into the mire.

Darrell goes back to what he knows.  Unless something changes that is radical, unless he makes very deliberate plans to do something else, he will return to the way he knows.   Darrell jumps back into entangled gang relationships and activities.  

While serving with Prisoners for Christ, I minister alongside jail ministry staff from the Seattle Union Gospel Mission team.  I am connecting Darrell to my UGM friends to explore these things.

He was presented the saving message of Christ in a juvenile detention facility.  I patiently shared the gospel message with him several months ago and he acted like he was hearing for the first time but he waffled and wiggled.  Well, he said, yes, he heard it before and it seemed to feel real.  At least one other chaplain presented the message to him at the MRJC.  He has gone through several levels of first time and assurance prayer experiences.  

I followed up several times.  He is very friendly and seemed eager to talk but he did a little "avoidance soft shoe."  After awhile,  he doesn't want to meet.  There are other gang members and unit guys pulling him away.   He follows easily. 

Overcoming fickle feelings

Disciples follow Jesus

A Christian follows Christ.  We see what that looks like in the Matthew 5 beatitudes for the new  and seasoned saint.  This is the bold print of discipleship.  The first beatitude in verse 3 says, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."  ~Matthew 5:3

Jesus announced very special people follow Him in radical ways. The followers of Jesus recognize they are unable, they don't have it in them without the power of God to cope with the daily realities of life.  "Poor in spirit" means abject so utter and complete spiritual inability.  

Abject poor

They are desperate for God to meet them where they really are and theirs is the kingdom of heaven. The followers of Jesus are wholly given over to God.  They don't push in the flesh to get these things.  God gives His followers peace and comfort in giving ourselves to Him.  

Amidst daily jail unit life, Darrell admitted when things get a little frustrating he ends up yelling and cursing.  He gets out of control and then gets in trouble. 

I inquired, "How is that working out?"  He is 18 or 19 and he admitted it is not working well, at all.  Some inmates  approve and support his disruptions.  

They are the ones Paul speaks about, "Though they know God's righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them." ~Romans 1:32.

Trusting Jesus

I took him Darrell to what Solomon has to say--

    Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
        and do not lean on your own understanding.
    In all your ways acknowledge him,
        and he will make straight your paths.  ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Trusting in, leaning everything on the Lord is speaking of giving everything to God.  It speaks of a whole heart spirit and Solomon said it is, "with all your heart." What is "your own understanding"?  It is all about the way we usually think and our usual habits of life.  That way isn't leaning and trusting in the Lord.

We go deeper in prayer

Wherever the Lord plants you and me to care for others, we simply must learn to plead with God in prayer.  

Under best conditions, we battle through deep trials in prayer.  Some are caught in really deep places.  Those of us who are called go to those places to extend ropes of God's deliverance need deeper and deeper prayer. 

Parts of the jail and prison experience are very depressing, even debilitating.  My own real experience through some days involves ups and downs.  I go through occasional two to five minutes of feeling low, frustrated, even depressed.  I learned not to stay there.These things are never defeated without growing in prayer.

Anchored on God and His promises

Proven experience with God is not based on feeling either high or low but what God speaks to about Himself, who He is, and what He says He will do, His promises for His blessed followers. 

From one of the most comforting chapters in the Bible, David wrote:

    Where shall I go from your Spirit?
        Or where shall I flee from your presence?
    If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
        If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
    If I take the wings of the morning
        and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
    even there your hand shall lead me,
        and your right hand shall hold me.
    If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
        and the light about me be night,”
    even the darkness is not dark to you;
        the night is bright as the day,
        for darkness is as light with you.  ~Psalm 139:7-12

The Lord uses His Scripture to teach Darrell how to feel by reading and directly asking the Lord.  I suggested he go back to Matthew 5:3, not just read it several times, but memorize and then carefully meditate on it.  He could start with Matthew 5:3 and then go to a couple other verses I referred to as "go to" texts.  These are verses God uses to really help us when needed the most. 

Scripture memory:  REVIEW TIMES THREE

The three rules for memorizing Scripture are the same: REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW.  Memorizing a text means "word perfect" with what each person can do.  It is totally right-on to go back and check it out as many times as we need to.  Going back for further review is part of the memory process, not cheating.  

Darrell's Bible is carefully marked.  Verses are boxed or starred.  He is using a Contemporary English Translation.  Great.  Awesome!  Throughout our time together,  he immediately located designated texts.   He says he reads his Bible most days and seemed to want to try the Scripture memory.

Keep praying and sharing 

Even as our time together concludes, Darrell was unsure, again.  He seemed to be tracking all along.  "How should I feel?  I'm not sure. Is the Lord still with me?"  I reminded him to ask God to teach him how to feel.  I am in that unit several times a week. He can send a kite request or approach me.  What did he get from our time together?

Finally -- Some News! (another guest post by the wife)

For those of you who've been keeping track, you realize that Mark has been gone eleven days, and that means he'll be home tomorrow night. Were you worried that you may have missed several posts about his exploits? Would you like to get ALL the details?

Yep, I thought you would. Me too. I got a partial text message that I *think* was from him, on Sunday night. Here, apart from the mushy salutation, is what it said:

"Better since Friday. Didn't"

Do not adjust your monitor; that's all the message contained. Sorry. This was followed by a telephone call from the same number, but the connection wasn't quite connected so I couldn't hear any voice.

So, I've been living on assumptions (and prayer) this week. When Mark called me from Amsterdam, he said he'd felt poorly on the flight from Seattle. I can only guess that he kept on feeling poorly until Friday.

But wait! Now there's more!

Rachel, the missionary Special Education teacher in Burundi, contacted me on Facebook today. Her message is proof that Mark actually did land in Africa. (I was picturing him in the plane, circling, circling, for ten days.) Here's what her first line said:

"Thanks for sending your husband. He was an awesome encouragement!"


Okay, then! I'll see if I can snag some other info from Rachel, and will write another post if there's time before I go to the airport tomorrow. If you've read this far, you would perhaps be willing to join me in prayer for the team and their health on the homeward flights. It's no fun at all to fly when you aren't feeling well, and they've got a lot of flying to do.

NEWS FLASH!!! More info from Rachel:

"He was better by the time he got to me. They didn't go into Congo. The border patrol wouldn't let them in or something like that. I met them at the Buja prison and then had dinner that evening with them at the hotel. The next day I went to a church they were preaching at that was 5 blocks from my house :)
That's about all I know. Oh I gave them some peanutbutter cookies one of the missionaries here made me. They seemed to like them :)"

Well, there you have it. Mark may be a journalist, but when you want the full scoop, ask a girl. We've got the information and we're happy to share it!

Thanks, Rachel!!!