Bereavement means robbery

I am remembering my Mom and Dad, these days. My Dad passed into the glory of eternal life in Jesus in April of 1985.  My Mom passed into that very same glory in February of 2010.  I have wonderful memories of my parents.  I recently completed a six-week bereavement small group with Grief Counselor Michele Ray and GriefWorks.  On Friday morning, I attended their wonderful annual appreciation breakfast in Auburn.

                                                                           GriefWorks
                                                P.O. Box 912 • Auburn, WA 98071-0912
                                                  253-333-9420 • info@griefworks.org

GriefWorks provides bereavement services for all ages, families, small, groups, churches, schools, and even businesses.  The lasting "take-home" from my sessions with Michele and our support group is a definition of bereavement which is robbery.   

Paul spoke about the Christian responses to death.

When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:      

    “Death is swallowed up in victory.”
    “O death, where is your victory?
     O death, where is your sting?”

     The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.  1 Corinthians 15:54-57

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.  For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep.  For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first.  Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.  Therefore encourage one another with these words. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

Christians recognize the sting of death and sin and grieve the loss of loved family members and dearest friends.  Death brings pain into our experience.  Each person responds to death differently as we mourn and grieve our loss. Each of the passages proclaims stunning and glorious HOPE for every Christian.

I've been chewing on the meaning we applied to bereavement--robbery.  Death robbed me of  my parents in this life, here.  The result of my parent's passing--both faithful Christians--is a wonderful assurance of their places together in heaven and so many other eternal things.  Still, the impact of their deaths is painful robbery.  In our case, death caused crippling, numbing family disorder. The bereavement or grief small group is helping me work through my reactions to our disorder.

                                                     An early morning Saturday game

I love every memory of my parents.  I was sharing with a father and son together in our church recently as they are taking huge steps in their relationship when the Lord seemed to bring to mind a memory with my Dad when I was perhaps in elementary or junior high school.

As my lifetime friends well know, my faith in Christ and baseball mark my life.  Other men are marked by lifetime interest railroads, chess, or hunting and fishing.  My thing has always been baseball.  I love to coach basketball and keep statistics for the Kentridge Chargers football team.  

I study, read, umpire, and watch baseball. Friends will tell you I watch and coach my way through a game.  My Mom left the Saturday afternoon television major league baseball game on while she cleaned the house after I left home to attend WSU.  I remember my parents asking each other how baseball with their oldest son came about. Neither took responsibility.

One Saturday morning really early, I couldn't sleep so I went out to our kitchen and living room in Federal Way to play out my own baseball game.  I brought out my glove, ball, and bat and proceeded to play out a game by myself, pitch-by-pitch, inning-by-inning, as real for me as if I was playing for the Mariners, Giants, or Dodgers while announcing the game as a radio broadcaster.  


There were players and a score.  I was playing out the game with times at bat, pitching, and fielding expecting to complete the nine innings. I was thoroughly engaged in a live game.

I was carrying on my game when I became aware my Dad was watching all this in his pajamas, leaning on the kitchen counter, wondering when I might notice him... hopefully sooner than later, obviously.

Ichiro sprints to first

My game was about in the fourth inning and was immediately suspended until normal game hours and I was banished to the clubhouse, my bedroom halfway down the hall.  I was to remain in my bedroom and in bed until normal morning hours.  

I don't remember what he said exactly but I do remember moving faster than Willie Mays running down a fly ball or Ichiro Suzuki beating out an infield hit into my clubhouse.  I don't recall punishment.  There were no more early morning games, but many played out in my mind, all before ESPN.  

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Spiritual fraud--self absorbed living

My good friend Gordon sends his reply to my interaction with Dan over the deity of Jesus Christ.  He gives a very clear depiction of jail and prison culture.  

I read your story of the encounter with Dan, and for a moment was transported back to those days.  I knew lots of Dans in my time in prison, and I’d like to add my two cents.

First, consider who Dan really is:  He has spent his short life in suspicion, conflict, assault, drugs, hate.  Any move he makes, any person he meets is a threat.  

 If you asked him about doing the Right Thing, he would say “nobody does the Right Thing.  You get what you can take”.  To him, it’s all a fraud.  It doesn’t matter what – it is all a fraud.

In Dan’s world of complete self absorption, what matters is HIM.

•             “I NEED whatever I want”
•             “Everyone does things TO ME”
•             “I WANT whatever I think of”
•             “They ganged up AGAINST ME”

Nowhere will you find in him concern for others, for doing right, for anything external to himself.   He doesn’t care if Jesus is divine or not; to him the whole religion is a fraud and there is no logical way to prove him wrong.  Any argument goes back to a belief in basic scripture, and you either believe its divine origin or you don’t.  There is no objective proof.  Faith, then, lies in the heart.  We believe it because we know in our soul that it’s right.  We take that faith to the Bible and we learn, and live.

The answer for Dan, indeed for all of us, is more personal and emotional than logic.  Ask him this: “You’ve met a wonderful girl.  You’re enchanted with her.  You have two choices.  You can beat her to make her comply and rape her, or you can experience her smiling at you, coming to you, hugging you, telling you she loves you.  Which do you want?”

If he favors rape, the talk is over.  If he favors love, then what does it take to experience this?  He has to care about her, take care of her, put her needs first.  He has to act selflessly – not to gain advantage but to help her.  Only it this way can he win her heart.

Walla Walla State Penitentiary

What is true of the girl is true of the world.  He can either love or hate, and either reach out or crouch within.  He knows the result of the latter.  Jesus came to show him how to live, how to align himself with nature (read: God’s plan), how to become someone who can understand.   

The Bible is the story of this.  Take it or leave it, but first look around you and ask – who is happy, who is content?  By and large, the committed Christian.  He smiles even as he is giving to help others.

I remember well an evening in Cell Block A, Building 1, Washington State Penitentiary.  I listened to an inmate berate his wife over the phone because she “didn’t send his money for smokes”.  His profanity echoed in the room.  Concerned with himself, he was oblivious to a miracle God gave him – a faithful wife.   

That is the real story for Dan, and where his real choice lies.  If he cares about the rest of his life, he needs to give the Bible a chance, see what it says.  Then the question of Jesus’ divinity will not be a debate over quotations.  It will be a conviction in his heart.

Supporting the deity of Christ in D unit

Norm Maleng Regional Justice Center

At the RJC last night, one of the inmates, I'll call him Dan, asserted that Jesus Christ is not God and challenged Ted and me to show us where the Bible calls Him God.  I was starting to walk through a 1 Timothy 4 about, "profitable godliness for every man"  with the group of two.

I've been leading a Bible study group with Dwight and since last year Ted in D unit at the Norm Maleng Regional Justice Center in Kent.

He started with, "What makes your religion better than any other?  I have studied many religions.  What someone else believes in another place in the world is just as real for them.  Some groups believe they are one with nature. Jesus did not answer Pilate when he asked Him.  Jesus was silent."

These kinds of questions are common as we meet with the men.  Some have genuine questions.  Others want to stir up difficulty.

I had several options, at that point.  I could have told him we could discuss his questions independently.  I could have asked Ted, my partner, to answer his questions one-on-one outside the room while I shared 1 Timothy with the other participant.  He was generally respectful  so we tried to answer him.  While in these evening sessions, I need to maintain gracious control of the process. 

The inmates are not in control of the activity and they know it.  Sometimes, they don't act like they know it. I could have asked him to leave or requested the support of an officer. Dan remained respectful although not agreeable.

Was Jesus silent when He was asked by Pilate if He was the Son of God?  I started with Matthew  27:11-14. Pilate asked Him, "Are you the King of the Jews?  Jesus said, "You have said so."  His answer was, yes, I am. He let Pilate's statement stand. 

Since we were in Matthew, I guided the group to 26:64-65.  Jesus prophesied they would "see Him, the Son of Man at the right hand of Power and coming on the clouds of heaven."  I took us to Daniel 7:13-14 where one like the son of man comes in the clouds to the Ancient of Days where the Son of Man was presented before the Ancient of Days."

Jesus clearly called Himself God.  The high priest clearly knew what Jesus was talking about and tore his robes, an act depicting blasphemy.  There was no misunderstanding.  The high priest understood Jesus was calling Himself God.

We next went to Titus 2:13, "...appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ."  2 Corinthians 13:14 says, "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all."

As this was all happening, I took a deep breath and prayed.  It is not our role to convince or persuade the questioner-skeptic.   That is the sovereign ministry of the Holy Spirit.  We might not answer each question exactly right.  We are to gently, clearly, and carefully present the truth and let the Spirit do His work (2 Timothy 2:24-26). Ted stepped in several times to make comments and support what we read.  We worked together smoothly.

The inmate, Dan, wanted to derail the process with other questions about God's goodness in His plan of salvation to judge sinners.  We read Romans 3:21-31 about Jesus demonstrating God's righteousness as the just and justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. 

Thomas exclaimed, "My Lord and my God," after he touched the marks of crucifixion on the Risen Christ.  Jesus let Thomas' statement stand.  Jesus is Lord and God!

We finished with Jesus incredible "I AM" statement from John 8:58 and Exodus 3:13-15 and Isaiah 6:1-3 and verses 9-10 which connects to John 12:40-41, "(Isaiah) saw His glory and spoke of Him (Jesus)."


Our hour was up.  Dan was not necessarily convinced. Phil, the other inmate, mentioned to me on the way out I could have used Hebrews 1.  I really thanked him.  Yes, I could have used that and other verses.

Fasting and praying for missions and men

I find myself reinvigorated for rich ministry in our local church.  These are the greatest days ever for fruitful ministry.  I meet with various men, multiple ages, around our church.  The Prisoners for Christ ministry at the RJC is with men.  

I am anticipating what the Lord is doing around us, right now.  I am awed and astonished at what He is opening up.  What should our focus be as men?  What should I be giving myself to? 

The world is packed with self-esteem and goals for men.  1 Timothy 4 puts it right on the line, especially for men who are serving with other men.  We are to meditate on profitable godliness.  

I am to "give myself entirely" to live out and teach these things.

 Fasting and praying around our missions trip

Rwanda team

Around my short-term missions trip to and around Rwanda, the dates are settled in as November 8-20.  I am still working on the support process.  I am sending out e-mails and asking the Lord for right contacts. 

In all this, other team members have greater needs than I do.  I am moving squarely into fasting and prayer for our awesome PFC missions team and my own needs.

                         Mentoring ministry with men

I met with Pastor Aaron Bauer, our youth pastor at Faith Baptist, about mentoring senior high and college-aged young men.  Going through right steps of accountability is a significant step for myself and hopefully a model for others.  

Young, middle, senior saints are to be examples as we speak, conduct our daily lives, love one another, live with heart enthusiasm spirit, experience faith, and walk in purity in the power and fullness of the Holy Spirit.My life should be full of godly instruction that is real--for myself and others.  These are things I should be regularly teaching at the Regional Justice Center.

Pastor Aaron Bauer

1 Timothy 4 starts out with, "The Spirit expressly says," depicting six things that happen when people depart from the faith.  It's a hot list. The last one is about abstaining from certain foods.  I remember hearing about that one from a group that used to meet near Normandy Park.  One of their attenders even asked me about  their practices.

We are repeatedly exhorted that "godliness is profitable for all things."  We trust in the Living God.  My, our, progress must be clearly witnessed by all. Give careful attention to sanctification.  Exercise the gift God has entrusted to you. These are a faithful sayings and worthy of full acceptance. 

The saints are to receive all our food with thanksgiving as those who believe and know the truth.  Our eating is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. I am to instruct in these things.

Every teacher of the word of God, whatever our vocation, is to be nourished in the words of faith and good doctrine.  We are to carefully follow these things in a spirit of believing heart obedience.  

 I am reminded to concentrate on reading the word, exhortation, and careful understanding and application of doctrine.

Congo and Rwanda

our team in Woodinville

Our tickets are purchased for our upcoming PFC short-term missions trip, November 8-20, for the Democratic Republic of the Congo and Rwanda.

I  collected just about everything needed for the trip in the last two months.  Our team is meeting Saturday for team-building and training.

I am sending out urgent focus e-mails to various individuals to seek $1500 needed to complete my support. I am amazed and overwhelmingly thankful to the Lord for what He supplies.

                                        PFC-University

I am scheduled to teach three classes at the PFC-University on October 30 at Cedar Park Christian School in Bothell.  This is a building up from teaching one session, the last two times.  This time, I am teaching a session  on dealing with manipulation while visiting individuals and in group services.

                          Men at the Regional Justice Center

The work at the Regional Justice Center in Kent remains very fruitful.  A usual week includes about 30 one-on-one visits with male inmates. 

This week, Jack urgently requested I meet with Michael, an 18 year-old making his third visit to the RJC in one year.  Yesterday, I talked very directly to Michael about making a radical change of friendships.  Same friends--same drugs and drinking.  He's gone to drug treatment and admits he needs to really want to be clean. 

Jack is 34 and has been down Michael's road of experience.  Jack's girfriend or fiance', is in the women's unit.  Jack and I meet weekly for Bible study and encouragement.

My first letter from Bo came in from Shelton, yesterday.  Some weeks ago, Bo was sentenced and will receive drug treatment. He met with one of the men who ministered to him from Victory Outreach.  Bo received a hug.  He recounted it was the first hug he's received from a Christian brother.

I followed up over the phone with a Dad who is making plans to visit his son at the State Penitentiary in Walla Walla, last night.  I was pleased to answer his questions and to invite him to our PFC-U.

Jim Parque living the dream at Faith

Jim Parque at BLE in Auburn

Jim Parque, former major league pitcher, spoke on "living the dream," at the men's breakfast at Faith Baptist Church on Saturday, October 2. 

Jim is the owner of Big League Edge in Auburn, a baseball developmental school that serves about 3,000 athletes and coaches each year. 

Jim is 34 and is married with two girls.  He and his family live in Puyallup and attend a Foursquare church.  His six year major league career included time with Tampa Bay, the Chicago White Sox, and Arizona.  

His most productive years were 1998-2000.  He blew out his left shoulder with Chicago as the starting pitcher in a 2000 American League Division Series playoff game loss against John Olerud and the Mariners. 

In his message, Jim said, "God taught me if I listen to Him, He will provide.  I learned no matter what I do, He loves me."

Jim recounted a brief overview of his career and said, I didn't take care of the gifts God gave me.  "I took HGH steroids.  Part of the path God took me on was to come out and be honest. He said to me, OK, do it your way.  Then, I blew my arm out when my career was at its highest, I was 14-5, and pitching in the playoffs. Through several events, He took everything away from me I thought was most important. I was very confident in sports but I learned I can fail."

"Failure is good," he concluded, "because I learn a different kind of big strength out of relying on Him for everything.  As I am intense about praying every day, I am asking Him to lead me.  I have learned everything is Yours so I give Him everything."