Hula hoops and detachment

Control what's inside my hula hoop

When a family member continues addictive patterns, I recognize the squalling opportunities to gossip or cause a big drama.  The world starts to be a big drama.  With the family struggling with addiction, there is always a daily soap opera.   

Stop!   

Crazy-making swirls all around, from one incident to the next.  I can’t fix my addicted child.  I can work on myself. What are my issues and needs?

A couple of weeks ago, I started attending an Al-anon group Saturday mornings in Kent and am learning critical life lessons.  Al-anon is for family members of those who struggle with a wide spectrum of addiction issues.  

One Al-anon word picture I am applying is the hula-hoop model.  I control the hula hoop space around me.  I can control and work on what is inside my hula hoop personal space.

Focus on what is really true.  I can seek His spiritual food by seeking God and reading the word of God.  I can read Al-anon materials.  I am not anybody’s savior.  Stop trying to save the world.  They are not asking to be saved from their addictions.  I am to take care of myself and my issues.  The addicted person’s issues are not my business.  I need to learn and respect boundaries.

How much space is inside the hula hoop?

I can gain experience, strength, and hope from other people’s stories.  I, myself, need to look beyond what certain other people did to me.  That is really an issue for me. 

Am I in the habit of doing what I say I will do? Do I commit to leaving things alone, giving the process time,  and then going back on my commitment? 

In dealing with the deep wounds of life, some really struggle with what to do with themselves when they are alone.  These troubled ones are really stressed when they get home and are alone.  When they are working or busy, they feel functional.  They have a deep need to always be busy and working so they don't think about how much hurts.

Some people need safe places to cry.  They can’t talk, yet, or now.  Crying is very good.