Resentment

The transition for Sol from where it appeared he was to what he shared with me was very discouraging on Monday.  This inmate seemed to turn from a very painful and even demonic background to be pursuing faith in Christ at the Regional Justice Center over the past months.

He explained he was seeking his creator individually as he heard from this creator without the foundation of the Bible. Jesus, he said, is a man with a message.  He is a man, not God.  My step today was to ask questions and assure Sol that I love him.

What changed for Sol?  He said, "I woke up.  I don't want to read any book that has been tainted by man.  The Bible has been translated so many times that it isn't what God says.  I don't trust anything with man's hand-prints all over it.  I am talking directly to the creator."

"So," I followed up, "how is that working for you?  That is a big change."


"It is very hard and exhausting but I only want to talk to the creator, myself.  The Bible has so many translations it can't be trusted as what it really said from the beginning."

I  started to share about the trustworthy nature of the Biblical text.  He became very defensive so I just started  to pray, listen carefully, and ask questions.  

Loving evangelism is not about winning arguments but walking beside him, right now.  Well, that was where Sol was at, today.  This is God's work in progress.  He agreed to let me pray for him and I asked the Creator God, the LORD of hosts, to reveal Himself to Sol. We may talk again in the next weeks. 

Another inmate, Joe was really eager to talk as he used to meet with PFC President Greg VonTobel when both attended Overlake Christian Church in Kirkland.  Joe struggles with alcohol so I encouraged him to start working through a Christian perspective on resentment in the 12-step program.He may be released in a short time but needs to respond to several other legal situations.

From an Alcoholics Anonymous perspective, resentment comes to play is Step 4 and involves recycling old negative feelings, revisiting old wrongs done to us by others. It's as if each of the offending incidents is captured on videotape in our minds. Resentment, in effect, is mentally replaying the scene countless times each day. As we do so, real wrongs grow worse, and wrongs that are merely imagined assume a life of their own.

Joe says he is overcome by anger that leads to bitter feelings, depression, acting out, being provoked.   Then, he drinks and ends up in jail.  He doesn't listen to his wife who has stayed with him.